Very This

The Cantaloupe

I don't understand this world sometimes and why I have to get up and travel to school and be at a 8:15 class, but these are the realities of a stupid world so whatever. I might as well write about it, right? I'm sure many of you having to get up as early or earlier have a lot of sympathy for me right?

Going to the Polls

Okay peoples let's talk about things. The federal election is coming up and yes, I have strong feelings about it. Right now, I'm a little frightened because a certain party might win. They haven't been in power in the last ten years and they might completely wreck our country. Of course, I mean the Marxist-Leninist Party. Do NOT vote for the Marxist-Leninists no matter what you do. If they win the election, they'll do to our wonderful country what they did to many other well established countries like Russia, give them a cool name and a cool flag. Do we want that? No! While we naturally seem highly prepared for a so-called "cold" war (we should be able to out cold anyone), giving up democracy would be a bad thing to do in my books. Yes I know both Marx and Lenin had really cool facial hair, but having facial hair doesn't make you a rock star. Now if Marx had been in a death metal band, maybe that'd have made his party worth voting for, but no. He was simply an author. And who wants to vote for a party started by an author? Not me, that's for sure! That's why, just like most people, I believe elections should be based on a popularity contest with the coolest person representing us.

King Richard the Lion-Necked

Wait, I'm sorry about that. Was I just talking politics there? Ouch, I've really stooped to a new low. Or maybe that's already been done. Thursday I was walking through the University of Calgary, mainly because I was going to get me some Relient K tickets at the Ticketmaster there while I had free time to do so. There was one particular advertisement there that caught my attention. It was a ad for Alesse, a birth control pill. So basically the ad had two women and they say they're "on a mission". That got me thinking? What's the mission? To not have kids? They sure aren't aiming at a very lofty goal there if that's their mission. I mean I've gone twenty-two years without having kids and I know a lot of people who have gone a lot longer than me. So what kind of mission other than that can you embark on with birth control pills? Nothing, that's what. Personally I've always thought birth control pills are misleading based simply off the name in the first place. It's not as if you can guarentee birth or not by using them. That would be true "control". Maybe what Alesse is saying is they've made pills that enable you to have kids. No father needed. Maybe that's the mission part. Very interesting. I might need a volunteer to try it out. Any takers?

Simply the turquoise

Before I end this issue, I have to go back to politics, I'm sorry. To handicap the coming election I went back to one of my old rivals, but a good guy, Mr. Tim Generic.

The Cantaloupe- So who do you think is going to be the next Prime Minister of Canada?
Tim Generic- Well the people of Canada deserve a Prime sort of minister rather than the minister who is lesser.
The C- What does that even mean?
TG- Canada needs a leader who isn't mean, but one who takes into consideration what everyone needs, which is a good leader. Someone like Tim Generic.
The C- So why didn't you run in the election?
TG- Leading a country isn't a sprint. Running will only burn out a country and its resources. To be a great leader, you be able to sit on the sidelines and make the right decisions.
The C- How does that work?
TG- We need a leader who will work for the good of all and not one who will prematurely run to be elected, wearing out our people, many of whom already work hard at their jobs and deserve to have a leader rather than someone who is tired like them.
The C- So in summary, you want to be Prime Minister, but you aren't going to run in the election and you're not going to do anything once in power, because it'd be too much work.
TG- I'd be the ideal by which this country could strive to become
The C- Certainly a difference maker.

There you have it. Vote for Tim Generic even though you can't.

Nuevo Timoto

I feel like presenting another question to you the most esteemed reader. So here it is."If you woke up in the morning and found an ostrich in your bedroom, what would you do?"That's it for today. Have a pleasant pleasantry.

Trevor YVR Plett

("And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals." "Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants." "Boy, I'll tell you, heh. They only come out at night. Or in this case the daytime." "The world is probably funnier to people who don't live here." Yes it's quotes from various places of fun that I stole. I'm a stoler. What can I say?)