Still Shaking My Fist In Defiance

The Cantaloupe

The Cantaloupe is now much older than he was before. It was a sad day yesterday all around as I am now one year closer to my immanent death. Well okay, there are some good things about being older. Senior citizens discounts to name one thing. I can't wait for those. Also once I'm older I can get a comb over! Yay! So as you can see, being old is great. Maybe one day you'll all be as old as me.

Various Birthday related questions

On my birthday some young hooligans tried to attack me and give me a wedgie at school based on the date. I mean what's up with people trying to hurt people just because it's their birthday? Luckily I had a one litre bottle filled with Kool-Aid and I smacked both of them upside the head with it as hard as I could. Thus they no longer wished to get close enough to me to try such an endeavour. But where did this phenomenon of bad things on bdays come from? And why has it not gone farther than it has. Why not birthday torture for instance? Well I know why...law breakers go to jail. Speaking of jail, wouldn't it be kinda fun to leave a passage out of jails for criminals. Of course the passage would be filled with dangerous animals of all kinds. Basically there's only a slim chance they survive. But they'd get a chance for freedom. And we could broadcast in on live TV. Think of the ratings! Of course, at the end of the tunnel is a road without a crosswalk and even if they make it, arrest them for jaywalking.

Makes you wonder if we're just dreaming

A recent newspaper article I read was talking about the decline of reality TV. To which I said, "When has there ever been reality TV?" Personally I don't recall ever seeing anything on TV I thought was realistic. In fact, my life circumstances have been far more like a sitcom than anything else. I mean competing for a million dollars? That happens to me everyday. Picking one girl from a field of sixteen? All the time! Even the shows that are kinda reality involve the lives of celebrities which I know all of us certainly are. So I propose someone actually starts making reality TV. I nominate me. It'll involve going to classes, sleeping, eating, being bored and other realities of life. I'm sure the ratings will be through the roof!

Yellow makes the world purpler

This weekend was a great weekend too. Thanksgiving weekend! Now I know how much each and every one of you love thanksgiving, but anytime where it's okay to gorge yourself full is an awesome day for me. Luckily for me, I got to celebrate it twice (Sunday AND Monday). Now that got me thinking....I wonder how many times you could celebrate thanksgiving. If you found enough willing places, you could eat a morsel of everything at one place, then quickly drive to another place and eat another little bit of everything. Now let's assume you started at noon one day. Eating food (and giving thanks) takes 20 min. Driving between places takes 10 min average. By that logic you could eat at 2 places an hour. So by 8 (which we'll say is the end) you could have eaten thanksgiving dinner 16 times. I'm sooo wanting to try this next year. How would this not be cool?

The Cantaloupe presents things I am thankful for

Braille on the drive-by ATMs for when I don't feel like looking at the machine
Britney Spears, because apparently I've mentioned her more than any other celebrity and well she makes for good writing material
The few remaining great wooden "unsafe" playgrounds left
Driving on the bus, because today's youth are actually quite funny in an unintentional sort of way. But wait, aren't every generation when you really think about it
Life, because well I think it's the funniest thing out there.
Death, because when I die, I want to have something turning me over and over in my grave and it can generate electricity or something.

Question....Actually Plea of the Week

Anyways if any of you would like to submit anything to me for use in this space, it would make my day, or year. Like answering this question-

If we were the last two people on Earth, which of us would you want to be supreme dictator of the planet and what would we do with all the Playdough factories?

Thanks for reading, or hearing in the case of whoever might be having someone else read it to them. I can't discriminate against my blind readers, whoever they may be. However I most certainly will discriminate against my stupid readers by saying words such as conglomerate.

Trevor YVR McPlett

(Would this caption make me look fat?)