Citrus Flavor In A Bite-Sized Container

The Cantaloupe

You know I'm quite hungry right now. Apparently according to Amy that's not very funny. Well that's why you don't sit beside me and read ahead! Anyway now that she's stopped reading I can tell you what I was going to tell you. Yeah I'm hungry. My stomach is giving me heck. It's audibly telling me to eat lunch. That's the cool thing about stomachs. They actually talk to you. Well I always wondered what it'd be like if other organs told you things too. Like what would it be like if your bladder made a high-pitched wailing when it was full? Or what would it be like if your brain keep telling your heart, "pump me more blood or I'll force my hand to give the mouth high cholesterol foods". Well I think life would be a little bit more interesting that's for sure. Especially if you brain tried to clog your heart with gunk.

I Don't Want To Work, I Just Want to Bang On the Drum All Day

As many of you know, I go to school. As many of you also know, I work as a basketball referee over the weekend. Well I became jealous because another of my friend got to sing "Happy Birthday" 3 times at their job and eat cake. But then I thought, maybe I also could do that! I mean while some kid goes to hit a free throw I could break into happy birthday! Running up and down the court, I could be eating birthday cake. I could even have a party horn instead of a whistle!

Influencing the world one bad day at a time

I was reading one of the pamphlets for a guy running for Public School Trustee in Calgary and here's what he says he will do:
"Provide strong leadership in consultation with our communities, teachers and school administrators
Ensure every student has an equal opportunity for success
Increase technology and resource standards in our schools"
I don't know about you, but I don't know how you could vote for someone promising these things. Being a good leader? Consulting people who know? Who does he think he is, Mother Theresa?! I think a more effective campaign would say,
"Provide weak, unsteady leadership where I consult nobody except my magic 8 ball
Ensure that students I personally like do much better than uncool dweebs
Take all technology out of schools and give everyone nothing but bags of rice and a goat"
Actually to tell you the truth, I wish that we had a goat back in school. And we could feed the rice to the goat. This guy is a genius. I'm glad I voted for him. Goats are awesome!

Why did the cute little kitten get caught in a bear trap?

We have reader mail. I feel as if I was a success or something. Mail! Anyway I asked about the end of the Earth and dictatorship and play dough. Here's some responses....

"Hey, In accordance to the latest cataloupe.... You of course youd be supreme dictator... you are far older... And we would make a castle out of all the playdoh... RAINBOW!!! Everything playdoh!!! Mua hahaha"-Taylor B."

"I would never let you be supreme dictator. I never want to go to Siberia! Besides if you were Supreme Dictator you could set up camera surveilance at my house and see me do silly things like take off my pants when I weigh myself and then later when the world was populated again (I don't know how, maybe there will be a cloning machine by then and we can find hair folicles from cool girls...) they would all have access to these videos. Also if this dillemna occurs after Christmas I might be able to beat you in an arm wrestling match so if that's how we decide the winner...
And burn all the play dough factories! Play dough is salty and comes in boring ugly colours that remind me of ugly yellow lighting. Play dough itself can be kind of cool though. Like those old toys where you could grow their hair. I remember commercials for those. Maybe we can leave the play dough factories as an inheritance for our children. Someday when a history of everything is written, it can say, "when TJ was 14 years of age he became the first man to reclaim the Playdough Factories."-Nolan A.
Haha, I'll arm wrestle you anyday, loser gets sent to Siberia. You're the only one I can beat! Cloning would come in handy in such a situation though. But considering everyone on Earth will be either mine or your relative I don't think I want any of my daughters or wives watching videos of you taking your clothes off. And YES I do want to write awesome world histories. And since there would only be two people we could write any history we wanted about the time when people died and we repopulated it. We could be the heroes who survived when the rest of the world died!

"hey, in response to your plea, i think i, bridget, would definitely be the supreme dictator of the world and i would force everyone (ex: you) to obey me for my only demand would be that all the playdoh factories need to produce more for i long to see a world created from and of playdoh with towers high and wobbly and bright orange and neon green bridges that droop and sag in the middle. this would be ideal and would serve to settle my childhood dream which would eventually enable me to finally be able to sleep at night. thank you. over and out."-Bridget F.
So what I think you're saying is you won't be able to sleep unless everyone else dies and I build you tons of playdough buildings? There's a word for that....I think...oh yes...Insomnia. And no...playdough building is one of three cures, not the only one.

"I will take this burden upon myself and respond to your plea. If it was you and i left on this earth...i would be the dictator. Why youask? because i wouldnt spend my time thinking of what to witht the playdough factories. i would concentrate on things like...what if we were'nt the only ones left on the earth?....what if there are two more people in china! then by golly we would find that out...or what if there were zombies running all over the place like in that movie!!!??? we wouldnt know!....but we would sooner or later. my point here Mr. Mcplett is that, what good would it do to find out what to with playdough plants? (we could go swimming in play dough!!! i wanted to do that since i was a child!) "-Greg P.
Well I certainly would hope there were more people, because the more the merrier they all say. Although I don't know Chinese. So they better know English!Let's go for two in a rowHere's the question...Or the challenge maybe. I want you to ask me an elections style question. E.g. What is your opinion on children? or What do you plan to do about the awful children problem? or If you get elected, will you eliminate all children or do I have to do it myself?Til next time, I'll be chillin' (literally). Have a great week and I'll see you tonight. Yes, tonight. Sleep tight.

Trevor YVR McPlett

(White days like this I'll never miss. They only come 100 times a year. We ain't got no place to go, because there's been a white snow show. If I were a snowflake, falling on a tree, I'd give myself to the first awesome person, so he could make a snowball. Go and get your snowsuit gear, swing your girlie all around. We'll be dancing on the powder as the town is freezing out)