VH1 Presents Behind The Laughter

During the Cantaloupe’s 14 month run, it has won numerous awards. Three Pulitzer Prizes, Two Emmys, an Oscar and 8 Grammys. Its author, Trevor Plett appeared on the covers of People, Teen People, YM, Rolling Stone, Cosmo Girl, Newsweek and Garden Week Magazines. You've all heard about it, you've read it, but have you heard what's "BEHIND THE LAUGHTER"

BEHIND THE LAUGHTER-March 9, 2005

It all began on a quiet day in October 1983. Trevor Matthew Plett was born at the General Hospital in Calgary. It was the beginning of a soap opera that would go from good to bad and back again and eventually will go bad, then good, then more good, then back to bad and so on from good to bad and then just kinda average. At the age of 15, Trevor began living on the street. He had decided that since people always tend to go from hard luck to fame and riches, that he would also do it. Unfortunately for him, he changed his mind 5 minutes after walking out the door. But luck would have it's way eventually. In high school, he had friends that influenced him to try his hand at writing. In grade 12 he wrote a masterpiece article about a certain Mr. Chagani. This article appeared in the Lester B. Pearson high school newspaper.
Mr Chagani- "I always knew that Trevor would make an awesome writer. That article was genius. However I can't figure out what the internet in Scotland has to do with anything"
Despite rumours that the article was in fact an analogous paper making fun of Mr. Chagani, Trevor's reputation as a writer was forming. Then one day while working at a summer camp, Trevor and his friend Nathan were called "the best leaders ever" by a newspaper stuck out with the kids. This really hit Trevor.
Sean Connery- "Trevor brought that clipping everywhere. He even taped it to his head for a while until he realized that ripped out his hair."
That day he decided never would he not write newsletters again. Unfortunately he backed down on that plan for 2 years. Two years of wasting his talents, but finally after a visit to the landfill that saw it filled with mostly his talents, Trevor decided to give writing newsletters a try. So in the winter of 2003, Trevor shut himself off from the rest of the world. He spent two weeks alone at home, perfecting it.
Trevor- "I knew I'd only get one shot at a first impression. It was so important I missed two of my final exams to do it."
Then in January 2004, Trevor hit the send button. His newsletter was sent. No longer could he hide his talents behind a bush like those two birds. Soon the replies came in. They weren't negative. They were positive. People liked it!
Trevor- "I was really surprised by the reaction people gave me. I thought people would say things like 'who do you think you are, Tonya Harding' and 'I wish you were dead'. But they didn't. In fact only three or four people said those things"
It became a regular Tuesday activity for people around Alberta. Tuesday was Cantaloupe Day. People gathered round the computer to read the newest issue of the Cantaloupe.Trevor was writing newsletter after newsletter. Everyone loved him. All things were going good. It was March 2004, but little did Trevor know how things were about to go bad. While he still put out newsletters, little did the outside world see the turmoil behind the scenes between the two keys participants, Trevor and his computer.
Trevor- "You piece of junk! I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you!"
Writing the newsletter became less of a joy based of these things and more of a chore. Soon Trevor became addicted to Windex to ease the pain. By the summer of 2004, Trevor consumed 6 bottles of Windex a day. Witnesses say he didn't recognize friend from foe
Trevor- "Nice kitty, nice kitty"
Duane (Trevor's brother)- That's actually the toaster.
After months of Windex usage, Trevor was referenced to a CA meeting for cleaning product abusers. Things seemed to be taking a turn for the better, but it wasn't long until the world began doing downhill again.
Trevor- "I thought I was over my problems, but what I didn't know is I had problems underneath the surface, like inside of me or something."
During the spring, Trevor tried out for the rock group Metallica. He was turned down
Trevor- "It'd been my dream for 3 days to join Metallica and play the triangle. They hate me, I just know it! Why?!"
It turns out there was no try outs, it was just the imagination and the Windex talking.
James Hetfield (leader singer for Metallica)- "Last night this guy came up to us, saying something about him being good for the band. Well this guy was so smashed on Windex and he couldn't even hit the triangle he claimed to play! What a f****** looney!"
The disappointment of this failure had caused Trevor not to trust any famous rock stars. It infected him like the Ebola virus will soon infect North America. It festered until he had reached a breaking point. It wasn't only famous rock stars who felt this rage, but an unlikely source.
Trevor- "It got to the point where I became dangerous to all those around me. I needed the Windex to get over the pain, but I couldn't control myself when on the Windex."
On the morning of July 31, 2004, Trevor opened his newspaper and found out Metallica had hired a new triangle player, the very same night he tried out. And on top that, it was one of his friends. In a fit of anger, Trevor consumed 3 bottles of Windex. It was to be a long day ahead of him. One that would strain the relationships around him forever. Or maybe just a couple of days. Actually let's try forever. That evening Trevor confronted his "friend" that had joined Metallica. Unfortunately it may have been not the time or the place. When Trevor in a Windex-influenced stupor started beating his friend, it ruined what otherwise was a perfect wedding reception. Yes, his friend was the best man. Luckily the bride thought quickly and hit Trevor with the bouquet. "I've been shot!" exclaimed Trevor, just before he was escorted out.
When Trevor woke up the next day, the newspaper headline was similarly depressing. "Local Writer Embarrasses Himself at Friend's Wedding" it read.
The Bride- "I had pictured this day since I was a little girl. Never once did I imagine someone I had invited to beat up the best man"
The Groom- "If I ever get married again, I'm certainly not inviting him"
The barbs from the media were candy compared to the poison ivy his friends brought to him. Readership in the Cantaloupe dropped 60 % over this period. It appeared nobody wanted to read another week's issue apologizing and listing recipes for drinks including Windex. It was just a matter of time. Soon the Cantaloupe had become no more. Trevor had run away. He had to hide from the abuse. He had to find a place where nobody would toss fruit at him every time he appeared in public. A place where disgraced celebrities could be at peace. That place would be Hollywood. Originally this was to be the week he got his very own star, but instead he was entering without the glitz and glamour. Of course Hollywood turned out not to be the place of healing it was hoped it would be. In fact it compounded Trevor's problems. He got involved in wild nightly parties involving stars of all types. One problem was this included rock stars. Tabloid fodder claimed he and Bruce Springsteen were trying to kill each other. This was only partially true. Once Trevor punched Gwen Stefani. One director gave him another chance. Gore Verbinski welcomed Trevor to the filming of Pirates Of The Caribbean 2 as a minor role character. However this proposition failed when arguments between Orlando Bloom and our man over who was better looking interfered with shooting of the movie.
Orlando Bloom- "Trevor never once looked at the script. It's like he was just there to get after my case. While he may have been right, it doesn't matter, because this is a movie, not a good-looking contest."
Trevor was fired and his welcome in Hollywood had worn out. The next stop was the City of Lights: Las Vegas, Nevada. It was October 2004. Trevor was more toned down, but in a serious of ill-steps he gambled away a lot of his money betting on the Los Angeles Clippers. Also he foolishly invested a lot of his money in General Motors which lost him a ton with what all happened there. We don't need to say it, because you all know.
Trevor- "Las Vegas was like a dream, maybe because I was combining Windex and Comet into a super-drink. Other than that it was living at times and dying at other times."
The Windex problem was only compounded when in a search for a job, the only one he could find was that of window washer. It was like giving an alcoholic the job as a bartender, or giving a panda-addict a job as zookeeper. But he had to make back some money somehow. Trevor won big a couple times. He won back a lot of money in a "which celebrity will get arrested next" pool. It turns out he knew already. He had inside connections with a lot of people. So when Orlando Bloom was brought in for murder charges, he wasn't surprised. He had seen it happen on set, but he didn't want to tell anyone in the hopes he could pay off in this way. Things were going better financially at least. However the non-stop partying began again. Trevor gambled, drank more Windex/Comet and even had a short annulled marriage to Britney Spears.
Britney Spears- "I thought maybe after my first three joke weddings, maybe someone would laugh with me instead of at me, but they didn't. That's why I tried this one. Unfortunately nobody laughed again. With me."
Trevor- "I was so desperate for attention that I had to marry Britney Spears. I know it's not much of a story anymore, but whatever I can get will help."
By this time some of Trevor's friends realized what kind of problems he was living with and came down to Vegas to help him out.
Anonymous female friend- "I was worried about Trevor especially hearing about his annulled marriage to Britney. I mean he always rambles on about how he hates Britney so I knew he was messed up. So I told him 'man, you have to get yourself straightened out'. But he said 'you wanna get married, it's all the rage here to get married and annulled'. I had to resist the urge to leave, but I knew he needed my help. I told him that in the real world, marriages aren't just ceremonies and then never seeing the other person again. I told him he needed to come home and that I would make sure he kept going to Cleaning product Anonymous. Well he thought about it for a couple days then decided I was right."
By now it was Christmastime and people's attentions were focused on things such as love and more so consumerism, rather than pelting him with fruit. Trevor was made to go to CA constantly. Soon he no longer was taking Windex with or without Comet. Exactly a year after he released his first issue he decided to write his newsletter again. Surprisingly people read. And they laughed. Despite the newsletter once again only being read by friends, Trevor was happy.
Trevor- "Again people were telling me how much they liked the newsletter"
Reader- "I'm just so glad he wasn't randomly hitting the keyboard anymore. I had enough of 'dkdnhndohsod' over and over again week after week. I had to comment him on this whether it was good or not. I mean it's better than watching 'Rosie' that's for sure."
And it was good. At least that's what people told us and we believe they were telling the truth. Unless of course they were bribed with cookies to say so. Now we here must admit that you would have to be a monster to bribe people with cookies. We promise cookies to anyone who finds us such a person, but anyway Trevor was once again back on his game, his 8 months of fame behind him at least for another month, he was back. And he's got a vision. To give everyone a cookie. A cookie laced with Windex. Or maybe he won't. But then again....

This has been a presentation of VH1's Behind The Laughter

Tune In Next Week when we talk about how the death of Brad broke up Five Iron Frenzy
Reece Roper- When I read it on the internet that Brad (the trumpet player), had died, I realized that we as a band could not continue on. I curse the day I ever met the boy. Only the good die young they say.