From The Guy Who Writes the Cantaloupe

The Cantaloupe

As we speak I'm in the wonderful country of Afghanistan. I tell you all "HI". This is why I could not send you a newsletter last week and this is why this week's issue shall be short and sweet. What have I been doing? I know you'd all like to know. Well on Wednesday I joined a rebel movement. Thursday I overthrew the government. Friday I discovered oil. Now I'm a billionaire mullah. Life is a little different. I'm getting used to the turban, it's actually kinda comfy. Being an international terrorist is actually not that bad. The mountain I began to hide in as of Saturday has a big screen TV with all the Al-Jazeera network I want to watch. Although their version of the Simpsons just baffles me. Anyway maybe one day they'll anoint me king. Probably not. So next week I'll probably be back here sending out a regular newsletter. It's been a while hasn't it? Then again it doesn't seem like you miss me, so perhaps I'll start writing in Arabic and send it to all my new Afghani buddies.
Remember me the way I once was....CRUSHING YOU LIKE A FLY!
NO wait...I'm good
Cya next week

TREVOR