Hope, Hype, Type

The Cantaloupe

Just a few thoughts before I get going into more pressing topics from my head today. Is anyone else getting a little tired of Christmas music? Anyone? Okay, so I haven't heard much yet, just a little bit. But with three months ahead of us (and two heavy months) of Christmas music coming. I know that for myself, Christmas music isn't quite as bad as the recent Thanksgiving music barrage. Singing all their happy Thanksgivingy stuff. About Turkey Gus, the Thanksgiving Turkey and how he's going to bring you a bucketful of stuffing.
Seriously, it's barely October and all these people on the internet and stuff have begun to talk about Christmas. It's three months away! Nearly a lifetime. All I know is I would wait until at least a month before something to mention it. For example, I totally am not going to mention that I am looking forward to it being summer again, or even spring. Why? Because that's not living in the present. I will not mention Christmas...
...Again?

But I Think I Will. Hey Look Over There, It's Christmas!

Actually I have a story to tell that I don't think I ever got around to telling. It's about a month old. I figure you all should know it, because it concerns and hurts us all.
It all starts back in the days of September. They were days of bliss in some regards. You see, we were in the process of moving Melissa up to University of Alberta and thus it was me, her and her parents. On Sundays, I usually have a lot of food at lunch and usually fairly late. Her family did not and so along the way they stopped at McDonald's while I did not eat because I was full.
Later we were staying at this house north of Edmonton, when it got around that we hadn't eaten supper. I was feeling a little bit of food envy or something. At this particular town, they had an A & W and they had a KFC. At the time, I was up for some good old-fashioned finger-lickin' good chicken, but I decided that even if I couldn't have any, I'd go to KFC anyway.
So we drive up to the drive-through menu where you order and they informed us that they were out of chicken. I guess the "C" in the name really just stands for Company or Corporation and they don't really Kentucky Fry anything in particular now do they? Do they?Now let's clarify here for a second. Many things I write in the Cantaloupe are fiction. They are not intended to be true and you should not perseve them as things that have happened to me or any other person that I know. However this was real. Realer than the time I got ran over by a cement truck in Nigeria.
When I found out I couldn't get chicken at a KFC I lost all hope. What was the point in life anymore? Isn't there a few things you can always count on? The sun will come up in the morning. The grass will always be greener on the other side. There will always be chicken at KFC. Well one of those things was wrecked forever. Let's go back to KFC though. I wondered what was the point of them being open was. What were they selling other than chicken. When I told my sister-in-law Krista she thought maybe some people were going to order a bucket full of coleslaw. Mmmmm....good old fashioned Kentucky Fried Coleslaw!

However what has became apparant is KFC no longer intends to harm the harmless chicken and I must commend them for this. Especially because they are now a car repair service. Toonie Tuesday is a really good deal.

More Poultry, Always More Poultry

We are coming up on the holiday weekend here in Canada. Wonderful Thanksgiving and well, Thanksgiving is a little different than most holidays. There's very little commercialization of it. It hasn't became really cheesy. Christmas has the whole Santa Claus thing associated with it, Easter has the whole Bunny thing going with it; Thanksgiving has turkeys. But we can always make up a cute backstory can't we.
So let's talk more about Turkey Gus. They say Turkey Gus lives in a residence (just like Santa Claus). However he lives in Albany, New York. All year round Turkey Gus procreates many, many children. Lots of little chick turkeys (whatever they are called). Turkey Gus loves all his hundreds of thousands of children. He loves creating his hundreds of thousands of children as well (wait am I allowed to say that? Of course I am, he's a happily married turkey; To Turkey Harriet and for fifty years). Well, every year he spends lots of time in his labratory (did I mention he's sort of a scientist?) There in his lab he creates lots of reciepes for cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes etc. As well he has created devices that control people's brains.
Anyways when Thanksgiving rolls around, Turkey Gus goes to work. He takes his children and lead them to grocery stores all around the world. Then he takes his mind control device and makes you buy them. Thus you get to eat turkey on Thanksgiving as a special gift from your uncle, Turkey Gus.The story doesn't end there of course. We're still missing stuffing and pumpkin pie, the greatest parts of any Thanksgiving feast. I don't want to go too much into his secrets, but I know this, Turkey Gus has a catapult. Possibly for stuffing.
Then what about pumpkin pie? What about it? You make it, that's what! It has nothing at all to do with Turkey Gus or even Pumpkin Pie Percival.Back to Turkey Gus and his wife Turkey Harriet. Each year when Turkey Harriet loses her horde of children she is really sad. Turkey Gus tells her the children were abducted by angry businessmen just like he tells her every year. Then he comforts her. Later they have more children to make up for the ones they lost. That's the Thanksgiving Cycle.
So the moral of the story is this: Be thankful that Turkey Harriet is incredibly gullible, just like all turkeys.

Christmas Is 100 days away!

Oh yes, and hockey season begins today. Not that hockey is a cool as football for example, but I can mention it anyways.
I once had a full issue devoted to hockey (aka the Calgary Flames). They were in the playoffs at the time and were about to win another series. That was a long time ago, but it was a fun time for all. But I made a prediction in that issue that ended up coming true. Yes, I've made a lot of predictions in my life. Very few of them have come true, but that one did. So in the spirit of awesomeness I am going to predict something for this coming season, because I can and I want to. Calgary is going to win the Cup. I've been wrong about the Flames, but NEVER in the Cantaloupe. This will continue.
Just imagine this town come June after a hard-fought game six (or seven) victory over the New York Islanders (or Carolina, or Montreal). The riot that would ensue would set back this city years and years. Is that what I want? Yes, it is.
I even want to make a promise to you just in case this comes true. IF the Flames do in fact complete their destiny and win the Cup, I will walk around Calgary (like through a majority of all four quadrants, just because I don't want to promise around the entire city, when there's no people out in the country) screaming "WOOO!" Maybe not the direct day of, but I'll pick a day for a "Woooo"ing adventure. Trust me, it'll be good. And it will be an all day adventure. Anyone who will want to can join me. Oh yes, there will be a significant amount of pyro (flames) involved as well. Probably a hot stick or two. Now it is unlikely the Flames will actually win, because hockey is unpredictable, but I can always hope right?
I'd promise you a physical appearance change, but too bad, because I like the way I look!

The Return

Very short note, but something important is going to happen on October 20th.

CHRISTMAS!!!! on a stick

As I leave you for another day, have a great Christmas season and buy a lot of expensive things so that our economy can be good and all us can be in debt and the starving children of this world can continue to do what they're used to.And also sing a lot of carols, because singing is good.

Trevor YVR Plett

(Oh by the way, my count of 100 for Christmas is a little bit off. It was an attempt at approximating, but I'm bad at approximating. It's actually 81 days until Christmas. Christmas is not in January or February, but I'm sure January will be cool too, and February will also be very cool. Maybe not as cool as Christmas, but you have fun things like New Year's and January 22 and all that. What I could have been saying instead of my terrible numerical mistake is that I like presents. And spending time with family and significant people. Because that's what Christmas is really about, is it not. It's about love. And maybe presents.)