I Like Thursdays

The Cantaloupe

One day there was a man named Jabor. Well okay, he didn't appear that very day, but that saying just shows our story begins there. This man one crisp spring day decided to set up a fruit stand. And not just any fruit stand, but a nectarine selling stand. Over the course of many weeks he sold nectarines to his loyal customers. In fact, most of his customers were those that bought in the first few weeks and were hooked. Rarely did a new buyer come along.Well Jabor did other things too. He played a lot of cricket and he washed his cow at least 3 days a week. So it's not as if the nectarine stand was the only thing he did. In fact the nectarine stand was only something he did because it was enjoyable and he didn't want to disappoint those that bought nectarines. Well after reliably selling nectarines for a couple months he began getting much less positive nectarine comments in his comment box. Well a few people dropped a note saying, "I loved the nectarine today. Really tasty", but not many did. In fact this bummed Jabor out.Well as you certainly can imagine Jabor didn't operate the nectarine shop nearly as much as before. It's not that he didn't enjoy it, it was more that it was becoming more of a routine rather than something fun he did. So once Jabor opened the store on a Saturday which he had never done before. He also began selling different coloured nectarines...some were green, some were blue.I'm not going to tell you everything worked out fine for Jabor. He enjoys the fruit stand, but not as much as when he started. Of course at times he actually enjoys it more: for example, when he found some giant nectarines in stock and he sold those. Jabor is an awesome guy, if you met him you'd know that to be true. In fact today, Jabor thoroughly enjoyed writing...I mean selling nectarines. Jabor had a lot of fun. He hopes his nectarine eaters savour every bite of their wonderful fruit.

Question of the Day

If I asked a question and nobody answered, did I ask the question?

Random Comment

You all need to do me a favour. Go to www.cbc.ca and vote for Darr Maqbool as the greatest Canadian. Why? Because watch Darr and tell me he's not the greatest Canadian. He soooo is! If all of you did that it'd be very kind. And also because PINCHY COMMANDS YOU!The curse is over, I can now watch hockey with whoever I want.
Go Flames Go

TREVOR McPlett

CNN (Cantaloupe News Netverk) Update

Senators say the government has to step up efforts to inflict all of us with deadly plague
Last Updated Thu, 15 Apr 2004 15:55:23

OTTAWA - The federal government has to do more to try to get all Canadians sick with a life-threatening disease according to a report released on Thursday by the Senate committee looking into the effects of diseases.

INDEPTH:
Mad Cow Disease
Ebola Virus
SARS

The Canadian beef industry was devastated by a single case of mad cow disease found in a cow on a farm in Alberta in May 2003. Certainly a mad person disease could cause widespread carnage as well.
When the U.S. closed its border to healthy Canadians, this country's tourists had to travel to other farther away places. As a result, Europe and Asia ended up with too many Canadians to handle.
Committee chairman Senator Donald Oliver said he believes there should be more cases of diseases such as the black lung and German measles and that Ottawa should prepare for this by refusing to provide healthcare for anyone.

LINKS: Read the report

The report recommended that the federal government provide funding to develop diseases that currently have no cure to reduce the amount of people currently on welfare. Also a little grief may help the higher classes learn to fight through adversity.
And it suggested that government create a committee to oversee and spread these new germs through the Maritimes, Ontario, and Quebec with plans to expand this awful plague through the rest of the country by the end of the year.
The public's response to the report has been mixed. While some people expressed outrage that they might be hit with the deadly virus(es), others were more optimistic. "I was a bit afraid at first", said Toronto waitress Lori Johansson, 28, "but if this gets rid of my annoying mother-in-law I'll be one happy woman". Environmentalists applauded the decision on it's merit. Local activist Mark Hanson said, "Less people means less pollution, plain and simple".
By 2008, this commission plans to reduce Canada's population by more than 85%, hopefully reaching a number between 3 and 4 million people.

Making Out For All The Lost Time

The Cantaloupe

Drawback to promises. You have to follow through. So I told someone I'd let them read my diary, but I figure if I tell them, I must tell all of you so....

"DEAR DIARY
Today me and ABC (random girls initials) had dinner. Wow! I've never felt like this before. This girl is the one. Really! Me and her certainly will have good looking kids. I think I spent hours that night imagining what to name all our fifteen kids. First there's Sarah, she'll be amazing at the violin. Then there's Frank, he'll play lacrosse. I know I could list them all, but you're my diary and you don't need to know these things. They're all up here in my head. Anyway the girl is great. I mean I spent the entire night imagining our kids. I mean it felt like the night lasted forever. Of course when the waiter told me they were closing and I had been there for 6 hours and hadn't paid yet, I thought, "wow, time sure flies when you're having a good time". I looked across the table to see my favourite future bride-to-be and she wasn't there. She must have been in the washroom. So I waited outside until 4 in the morning. I knew we were perfect for each other. I didn't say a word to her all evening, but I know what she was thinking. I'm sure it was something like "when's he going to propose" or something like that. I mean when it gets to the point where you don't even have to say anything on your first date, that's a fast moving relationship. Sadly, she must have been sick because she wasn't coming out of that washroom. I'm sure once we're married with all those kids she'll be spending plenty of time tending sick kids, but I'll pitch in and we'll still have our romantic nights together, just like tonight."

"DEAR DIARY
Yesterday on the bus I was dreaming about ABC. It's been a month since our date and our relationship is still going strong. Surprising considering how little we've seen each other. The other day we bumped into each other and she joke about how she "didn't want to talk to me anymore". What a joker! That's the sense of humour I hope she instils in my kids. Rebecca she'll be the fourth child. She'll be a little rough around the edges, but always a joy for her parents. I mean aren't a genius, I already got this all figured out! Now I know she's been busy as of late. I mean she's never been home since she got that caller ID installed. I can't seem to get a hold of her. Maybe she's out looking for wedding dresses. That girl is just awesome! We make such a great combination. And I'm certain our sixth son Harold will turn out to be a male model. I mean he's that good-looking."

"DEAR DIARY
The last little while I've been really busy. I mean even though I quit my job and stopped going to school, I haven't had a lot of time. I've spent almost all of it searching for houses. I mean when you're going to have fifteen kids you need to make the proper investments. You gotta plan ahead. I'm a thinker. I know what's going on at all times. I mean I've been going out with ABC for 3 months now. I found this really great place out in the NW. It's got ten bedrooms, four washrooms and it's real big. I have no clue how I'll afford it, but I know with the love our family will have going for us, you don't need a lot of money. ABC has been even busier. The last time I bumped into her I showed her a picture of the house. She asked "how are you going to afford that house?" I told her what I just told you about the love. She then gave me this strange look and walked away quickly. She must have went to check out the house. Smart girl she is. What was the look though? Hmmm....at first it seemed like outright disgust, but I'm sure she must have just been thinking about all the unlucky girls who can't have such wonderful families. I mean who wouldn't love Ralph, the loveable loner? He's our youngest. He's kinda shy, but he's great to cuddle. I'm even more sure of this than I was that first night."

"DEAR DIARY
Me and ABC finally got to go on our second date. It wasn't nearly as ritzy as the first one. In fact ABC broke protocol and asked me out. She phoned me up and said "I think we need to talk about the last couple months and some misunderstandings, maybe over lunch". She's such a great girl. Then over lunch she kept saying a lot. I mean after she opened with "you may be a decent guy, but...." I kinda tuned out after that point. I mean I started thinking. What about the grandkids? I was worried for a second then I realized that they will have a grandmother who dotes on their every need. I'm sure she'll spoil them rotten. And I'll still be frisky enough to play games with my daughter Ruth's kids. She'll have two boys and a girl all beautiful young ones. I drift back to reality for a second to hear ABC say "You've kinda been scaring me lately, I don't think I want to talk to you anymore". Oops I fade out again. I think she meant she didn't want to see me until the wedding. See, when you know someone well enough you have this mental thing. You know the other person's thoughts before they even say them. I think once we retire we should go on a cruise. I think about gracefully aging with the one I love for hours. When I come to, ABC is gone again. She went to tell everyone the good news I'm sure. I know if I was engaged I'd run off and tell everyone right away. Wait....I am. But I didn't have time. First I'd have to wash off the lipstick from my face that got there when she kissed me goodbye. Funny because when I went to the mirror it was already gone. Hmmmm....maybe I wiped my cheek during my fantasy too. Some weird stuff's been going down lately, but once I get married that will all change. Anyway....I need to go tell everyone the good news. Wait, I think maybe I should book that cruise. You can never plan too far ahead you know."

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

If you and I were to meet in 40 years, what would the conversation sound like, what would be said, where would we meet and what's different about the conversation than now (other than that we're both really old!)?

TreVor "YVR" PleTT

(DEAR DIARY- My newsletter rocks. Just thought you might want to know since you're my diary. You know a lot about me. In fact I'm glad that nobody will find you and read what's written in you. I mean I don't even stick you in my room. I stick you in the bookshelf downstairs on the third shelf from the top on the left hand side. Nobody will ever find you there. NOBODY!!!!)